I save my thoughts of you for next Fall
I know they’ve nowhere to land
My unseen fate
rests on a plate
The Server pulls it just out of sight
I save my thoughts of you for sitting in my room alone.
I wonder if I’m right
I split myself on what is unspoken
On my way to you
I swallow the unsaid
It makes me sick, ew
White noise bubbles up the esophagus
I swallow the sick; it marries me.
I split myself between stagnancies
The Server comes my way and
passes me by.
She winks at my
Color coded spreadsheet twelve month plan that will
Lead me to speak not die
I save my thoughts of you for next fall
And nibble on the corners now until late august
Certified fresh until longing quits expired lust
I save my thoughts of you for next fall
Now is unkind
Hope tells me tales I don’t know
Confession marked on the calendar 6 months from now
A lifetime to come; by then I’ll figure it out
I see you with me in other cities
The days keep coming
I spend all my time
You’re not in any of it
I liken you to a nonexistent afternoon in fall
A picture show of your hair our coffee and the music you like
I throw all my wishes to god
And they fall back down
As soggy leaves on the lawn
I rake them up and dump them in the forest next spring
